changed my url cause of bullshit.

My dearest baby,

            I’ve never felt anything more real than when I’ve felt you move inside of me. It was only a flutter, the brush of an eye lash, maybe. But it was real. And it was you. And I’ve never felt anything so beautiful. I’ve never wanted to see anything so badly in my entire life. If there is 1 thing I am sure of, it is that I love you. You are my world now. You are all I ever think about. I want you to know that I do not see you as a mistake, but a blessing. Yes, I got pregnant with you when I was 16 years old. I was still in high school, and I’m not going to lie and say you were “planned”. Oh, no you were quite the surprise. But you were just that, a surprise. Not a mistake. Not a burden. You were a blessing. At first, I will admit that I cried. And I still cry, even after 14 weeks of having you inside of me, I still cry. I cry from fear, joy, terror, happiness, but mostly, I cry from how much I love you already. Its scary, to love something so unconditionally, though I’ve never even seen you. I wish I could explain it, but I truly can’t. I hope to be a good mother to you. I hope to give you everything you deserve and more. I hope to give you a beautiful life. I am willing to give you all of me, because you deserve it more than anyone. I’m starting to cry right now, because I’ve never known anything to be truer than this letter I’m typing right now. You are my world, angel. You are my everything. I love you, darling baby. I can’t wait to see you. And hold you. And take care of you. My life isn’t over, my life has just begun. With you, it will always be something new. Something exciting. Something terrifying, but something that nothing else in this world can replace. You are a gift, oh my, such a precious gift, an angel, a blessing.

            Forever yours,

                        Mommy.

Yelling at me will accomplish nothing. It is only going to make me say, “get the Fuck out of my life.” Saying that calmly, I assure you, will get the point across so much clearer than if I were to yell it at you.